


Insanity (story of another us)

by Iouistomlinson



Category: One Direction (Band)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-07
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-08-20 01:39:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8231671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iouistomlinson/pseuds/Iouistomlinson
Summary: One Direction, the famous boyband ended. They all went to their own way but Louis was miserable. He didn't knew what to do.





	1. Ending of A Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this story on my Wattpad (5SOS vers.) not too long ago and It's called Insanity by calumsfavour. (Now larryhoods)

It's been a few years. A few years since One Direction called it off. 4 years to be exact. If I say I didn't expect it to happen soon, that would be a total lie. Ever since Zayn left, I knew there's no hope anymore. I do know it'd all happen soon. I mean nothing last forever, right?. It's just, I didn't expect it would be this fast. I didn't know a change can make my life completely upside down.

 

We haven't keep in touch since forever. It may or may not be my fault, I was too sad over the breakup. Ever since Harry said the exact words, "Guys, this isn't working anymore, don't you think? Why are we still doing this..". It was a lovely evening, we just finished performing History at The Late Late Show. We're just all happy and smiling until then Harry said those fourteen words. I was left speechless. The worst part was, all the boys agreed on that. And that, of course, leads to the breakup. That's our last performance, ever.

 

I was scared, real scared. What would happen to me? All the boys would definitely continue their career or whatever, Niall would probably be a professional golfer. But me? What about me? Ever since Day 1, I'd always knew that I'm the least favourite. If I continued singing, it'd be absolute trash. I'm not as good as the other boys, and we can all agree on that. Without them, I'm literally nothing but just another band member.

 

It was real heartbreaking. To see our fans cry over the breakup. If anything, they're truly the only reason I didn't give up on my life yet. They keep giving me support on and on. Don't know what I'd do without them, honestly. Seeing them sad, just makes me feel guilty. I wish I would've stay if I could. In fact, I didn't even agree on it, but they thought it was for the best.

 

Zayn decided to leave the band 6 years ago for whatever the reason is, he said he's tired of the fame. B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T, if I must say. Not even a year after, he's already selling out stadiums on his new album. I still do love Zayn, he's like my brother. he'll always be. It's just..some part of me can't help but think he's the reason for our breakup, and I hate it.

 

On the first year, we'd still occasionally hang out once in awhile. Even Zayn joined sometimes, even though I'd glare at him most of the time, which probably makes him uncomfortable and that's probably why he stopped hanging with us. Aren't I just a little ball of a problem? But after quite a few months, we just stopped. I didn't know why nor do I ever ask. They probably moved on, but I didn't. We all made different friends, hung with different crowds. As time goes on, I lost almost everyone close to me. But I thought it's okay, I liked being alone back then.

 

Being alone is what makes me crazy. It drives me literally insane. People just won't talk to me and I just want to know why. Am I a freak? Am I not good enough? Why did everyone moved on but I can't. And there's where I decided to move and change everything I have. I made a new number, I moved to a new house where no one knows where I am. I abandoned everyone. But did they ever try to contact or find me? No, they don't care. Yeah, it's stupid. Like how are they supposed to contact you when you change—blahblahblah. Don't they have FBI shit or something? I doubt they even care.

 

I'm not Louis Tomlinson anymore. Now, I'm just a lonely and depressed 30 years old. Hell, I'm more than depressed. I have no idea what's with my family, my fans abandoned me and my band members probably didn't even remember me. I don't even know what friends are anymore, the word never came on my mind lately.

 

I barely even go outside anymore. Maybe I did twice every three months to buy some food. That sounds almost impossible, but it's the truth. Luckily, people didn't recognize me until now. I do miss the fame, I wouldn't say I miss the mobbing part, though.

 

I changed a lot. My hair becomes messier. I've grown some hair here and there. I wouldn't be shocked if people mistook me for a gorilla. I'm never really depressed, I have my days off when I was in the band when I'll snap on everyone but besides that, I'm always happy. Well, the Louis I used to know does. I'm always the cheerful one, tries to make people laugh everyday. I didn't know how I become like this. I'd never expect I'll end up like this. To be honest, I don't think anyone does.

 

I wish I can stay happy once again and everything would be back to normal. Dreams don't always come true, do they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter, I'm just a not good writer. Btw, I'm sorry about what Louis said about himself. It's definitely isn't true. He's perfect, just the way he is. And sorry about the Zayn thing, I love him, I do. It's just a fanfiction afterall. :( x


	2. Payphone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis tried to call Niall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2. Woooo?

I walk the lonely road of London. London is quite big, lonely too, I admit. It's probably because I live on the really really quiet side of it. People are rarely here. There's a few neighbourhood, but it's just really peaceful here, which I'm glad of.

 

I walk by the red worn payphone. It gives me an idea, that I'd never thought I would do. Do I call someone? Would they be grateful if I do so? Will they care? Will they pick up? Guess it's about time to find out.

 

To do or to not. I'm about to the biggest decisions I'll ever make my whole life. I'm at the payphone, trying to make a move. I hold the red payphone tight, shakingly. I scrolled down my contact list and tapped Niall's number. Now, all left was hoping he hadn't changed it. I put in the coins. Hopefully, it'll be enough for about a 2-minute call. I hope. I called Niall first because, well he probably would answer. I don't know, something in my mind told me he would. I took a huge breath and my heart beats faster as every beep were heard.

 

No answer.

 

No goddamn answer.

 

"Hey, it's Niall. Niall's not here. Soooooo, Leave me a voicemail after this!," He giggled. I could feel his wide smile through the voice. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I miss his voice so much. That makes me wonder if he had changed. Clearly, he's still the cheery lad he is. But have his hair grown like me? Has he become taller? I guess I'll never get the answer.

 

"Uhh, Hi Niall. It's me.. uh, Louis? Maybe, You can give me a call? I-I have a new phone number. It's ###########. I mis-," It ended. Well, that was unexpected. I thought it would've been longer. It could've been longer. It should've been longer! I groaned in frustration.

 

I squeeze my fist close with anger. Why wouldn't he pick up? I'm super pissed. I feel like crying and cry all night, all day. I don't feel like calling the other three anymore. Maybe next time. Or never. I pulled my hoodie up, covering my head. I walked home with disappointment. I hope he'll read the voicemail and maybe call back. Then we're gonna chat a little bit and talk about what's been happening and all and then we'd hang ou-Yeah, That'll never gonna happen. I'm not gonna put my hope too high this time. It always didn't work. But then again, I know Niall. He isn't ones to pick up random numbers. Well, at least I used to know him.

 

I walk up to the kitchen counter and make myself a Peanut butter and Jelly before I went back to my dusty room, it's really dark here. How come I just realized this? I lay on the crooked bed and stare at the empty ceiling, while eating the sandwich. Somehow, an idea popped up into my head. Twitter. That's quite a silly idea. I uninstalled all the applications I have. I get hate constantly ever since we broke up, and that's why I decided to delete it.

 

 

I don't know what's up with me today. I feel like doing all the things I haven't done in years. Twitter, the last time I used it is like 3 years ago. I finally decided that I should. Nothing bad will happen, right? I Install Twitter. Even the logo changed. I sure missed a lot.

 

I logged in to my account. No harm would be made, I just want to keep on updated. The notifications are more than usual, pretty shocking. I noticed I still get notifications. Why do people still tweet about me?

 

I decided to check some.

 

 

 

" **@Louis_Tomlinson @NiallOfficial @LiamPayne @Harry_Styles @ZaynMalik** HAPPY 10TH YEAR OF 1D!! I MISS YOU GUYS SO MUCH."

 

" **@Harry_Styles @Louis_Tomlinson @NiallOfficial @LiamPayne @ZaynMalik @OneDirection** come back..we miss you"

 

" **@Louis_Tomlinson @Harry_Styles @NiallOfficial @ZaynMalik @LiamPayne** 10th year annivessary of One Direction!"

 

" **@NiallOfficial @LiamPayne @Harry_Styles @Louis_Tomlinson @ZaynMalik** It's the 10th anniversary of the biggest boyband, One Direction!"

 

"Pop star sensation, **@Harry_Styles** admits that he do miss his fellow ex-bandmate, **@Louis_Tomlinson** who's nowhere to be seen. Click more-"

 

 

 

It's the 10th year anniversary of us? I didn't even remember that. 5 years ago, I would probably be the most excited one. I mean, 10 years..that's something big. Everything has changed, I guess. Most importantly, Harry missed me? Harry Styles? I haven't heard that name in years. A few years back, we were the closest out of all. I remember, I do. He said, "Hey Louis, we'll keep in touch yeah? Don't miss me that much." What happened to that?

 

I throw the phone away from the bed. It's so stressful. I don't like changes. I just want it they way it used to be. I still found myself laying in bed, staring at the ceiling. I cover my face and pull my hair out in frustration. It's falling. It's falling out.

 

I took a quick glance at the corner of the small wooden table, beside the bed. Something caught my ocean blue eye. A packet of cigarettes. When was the last time I smoke? I don't even remember. After everything went apart, I decided to change. I thought I wanted to changes for the better, but the opposite happened. Cigarettes were never on my mind anymore, because there're more stressful things happened that make me forgot about it. It happened and there's no way that I could rewind.

 

Smoking always calms me down for some reason. I'm not addicted to it, I just do it to release my stress. I haven't had it for so long and I really need one right now.

 

I took one cigarette and start lighting it up. I miss this feeling.


	3. L-Louis..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis goes to the grocery and meet someone.

It's the next day, having heartache for no absolute reason. For the last 5 years, I've been feeling this. Honestly, I'm getting used to it. I haven't take a shower for awhile. Probably 2 weeks or so. I'm just not really in the mood to. It's not like I'm going anywhere anyway. I'll be here stuck in this room, forever. Like always.

 

Sometimes, I can hear their voices around the house. It's absolute nuts. It's been driving me crazy. It's definitely my mind tricking me. Usually, I would ignore it but lately, it's getting stronger. I couldn't do anything. I tried to shout to them, they wouldn't hear me. They _never_ hear me.

 

Sometimes I would wonder if anyone ever thought I'd be like this. I don't think so. It's killing me to know how much I changed. My stomach keeps growling again and again. I swear I could eat a horse right now. I went to the kitchen, searching for food. There's barely anything but a packet of chips. I need to go to grocery shopping. Maybe tomorrow, I don't think I have any more energy left for anything, except for laying on the bed.

 

I eat the whole packet of a chip, scrolling over Twitter. I still haven't deleted it. After yesterday, I'm actually looking forward to seeing what happened in the world. I just miss being there and it's not like I have anything better to do.

 

And with that thought, I decided to tweet something,

 

 

" **@Louis_Tomlinson: @OneDirection** 10 years .. Thank you , everyone."

 

 

 

Within seconds, I already got some replies. I smiled.

 

 

" **@Louis_Tomlinson** You're back! We miss you.." I favourited that tweet.

 

" **@Louis_Tomlinson** LOUIS!!!"

 

 

I read a few more tweets before decided to sleep the whole day, hoping it would be my last sleep.

 

 

_** The next day ** _

 

 

There's no food left, and my stomach is growling like crazy. I really need to do grocery shopping today by hook or by crook. I picked my hoodie from the wardrobe. To be honest, I only have like 10 clothes left. I don't know where the other go.

 

I decided to walk since I have nothing to drive. My car got taken the second day I moved to London. Guess it's a bit dangerous here. It's been awhile since I walk around. It feels so fresh and calming. After nearly half an hour walk, I'm finally here.

 

I pulled the hoodie, covering my head so people wouldn't see me. I open my wallet to see I only have like $1000 left. I shrugged. That'll be enough for a few more years. I took a few packet of chips and 2 bottles of milk. Hopefully, that'll last for a month and more. I barely eat anything though, so it doesn't matter.

 

I pulled out $20 dollars and give it to the cashier. I thanked him and left. The stuff I bought is pretty heavy or I'm becoming weak. My hand feels like burning, I can't hold it anymore. I was about to pass out until someone bumped into me.

 

"Aagh!," I shouted in pain. It hurts so bad, It'll probably last a few weeks. I sighed.

 

"I'm sorry! Are you hurt? Oh my god, I'm so so sorry. Let me help you..," He offered me a hand. I couldn't see his face since all I could see is the top of my hoodie. I pulled his hand and tried to stand up.

 

"Yeah. Thanks," I said. My legs still hurt and I don't think I could walk at this moment.

 

"I think your leg is broken or something..Let me help you," He grabbed my arm and walk with me. He makes his way to his car. I couldn't really see the car either but I can see it's red and pretty big.

 

"Jump into my car, I'll send you home I guess," He said. I slowly nodded since it doesn't seem like I can walk right now and open the car door and sit in the passenger seat.

 

The car ride was quiet and pretty awkward. All I do was shift my feet awkwardly and stare at the window. That's until he decided to talk. "So, Where do you live?,"

 

"A few more blocks," I hummed.

 

He nods, before adding. "Oh, hey I haven't seen your face or catch your name,"

 

He asked so many questions, and honestly I just wanted him to shut up. But that would be rude, wouldn't it? I mean he just helped me. That's nice of him but I don't feel like answering multiple questions about me when I don't even know myself anymore.

 

"C'mon, Don't be shy. It's just me, yeah?"

 

I nodded nonchalantly.

 

I slowly pulled my hoodie off. He took a glance at the front mirror since he's still driving. Suddenly, he stopped the car and I furrowed my eyebrows.

 

"L-Louis?," He stutters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D D: Who could that beee?


	4. Is this real?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .

"L-Louis"

 

He knows my name? Great. Fantastic. Amazing. He could be a fan. But then again, do we even have fans anymore? I don't think so. It's been years anyway. "Uh, yeah. That's me. A fan, yeah?" I asked.

 

He shook his head furiously. "No, no"

 

I hummed in response, not really keen to know who he is. I could care less unless he's someone important. But if he is, then I would have remembered him. I might had been gone for like 4 years, but that doesn't mean my memory are all gone. I think my memory is just fine,

 

He bites his bottom lip, and turn his head towards me. "You really don't remember who I am, don't you?" He said, his voice low.

 

I shrugged once again.

 

"D-do you like-want to know who I am?"

 

"Sure, I think?"

 

He took a few deep breath. Why is he so nervous? Is he really that important? Is it my step-dad? Oh no, then I'd feel real guilty about it. He looks pretty young to be my dad. Plus, I don't remember my dad having blonde-almost brunette hair color. For a moment, I just sit still on the passenger seat, waiting for his answer. All of sudden, he covered his face with his hands and started crying.

 

It was really awkward. I didn't know what to do. Do I comfort him? I'm not even sure who he is yet. I don't know how to comfort people, and he's like a complete stranger at the moment. I slowly put my hand on his back, "I-um. It's okay. It's gonna be alright"

 

He shook his head multiple times. He put his hand down on his lap, making a loud noise. I flinched. He started panicking and shouted "It's not okay! Nothing is alright. You're Louis..and I haven't seen you in ages. It's so hard." He pulled his head in frustration. "What happened to you? Why didn't you all anyone? Where have you been? Why? Why do-" I cut him off by hugging him tightly.

 

"Shh, I'm here. I'm here, okay? Just tell me who you are. It's all good, yeah?" I mumbled softly.

 

"I-I..'

 

"Yeah?"

 

"I'm..N-.."

 

"Getting there, buddy" I whispered softly.

 

He closed his eye shut. "Niall. Niall Horan."

 

Three. Three words that leave me in complete shock. It feels like everything stopped moving and all left was silence. I froze. I bit my lip hard. Niall. The cheerful Irish lad, I've spent 6 years with. I, myself couldn't believe how much he's changed. His bright blonde hair is now completely brunette. What disappoints me the most is the fact that I couldn't recognize him on first sight. He hasn't even changed that much. I guess after being away for almost 3 years does affect my memory quite a lot. I stay in silence, suddenly not being able to talk any longer.

 

"Mate..you're fine?" Niall asked, his eyes shown the sign of sorrow.

 

I shook my head furiously. "I.." I tried speaking, but nothing is coming out from my mouth.

 

Niall sighed deeply. "I know it isn't a good idea. I'm-um, sorry. I'll just drop you off and pretend that never happened, yeah? I know that's what you want.." His hands were holding the steering wheel tight. His eyes never left the front window.

 

I tried to form some words, but fail yet again. I gulped. "Uh, I..I"

 

"I-I wanted to s-stay! I wanted to um..stay in contact?" I managed to let the words speak. Niall's eyes shift right towards my direction. His eyes lit up in excitement. "R-Really?" He said in enthusiasm. I nod, smiling. He opened his arms wide, hugging me. I slowly hug him back, smiling to myself. I missed this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the poorly written chapter. I know lots of you expected Harry but suprise! Hahah. It's Niallllll.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the short chapter. :)


End file.
